It’s “premiere week” on American television this week, the week where ABC, CBS and NBC unveil their new shows for the 2005-2006 season. And I’ve been watching.

There are three Lost knockoffs — shows in the “scary unknown monsters meet Party of Five” model: Threshold from CBS, Surface from NBC and Invasion from ABC.

In Threshold the scary comes from outer space in form of a massive pile of whirling glass shards that emits a sound that makes people have bad dreams. In Surface it’s massive tarantula whales that lay eggs and generally cause a big fuss. And in Invasion it’s hurricane-induced soul-stealers that take over families in the Everglades.

None of the shows is as inventive as Lost, but Threshold is the best produced and has the best character development (if you can call it that), but it still amounts to little more than “NCIS with aliens.”

Since I learned on Monday that Two and A Half Men is the number-one rated sitcom in America I’ve decided to opt out of that genre entirely and confine myself to endless re-runs of Seinfeld and The Simpsons. And even they are getting tired (don’t tell Catherine). I did watch the season premiere of the (American version of) The Office and it was much less annoying than I thought it would be. And apparently this will be a “very special season” of Will and Grace as it is the last one. Everything else seems to be some variation, as Johnny says, of the “overweight Dad, svelt Mom, and crazy kids try and make it in this crazy mixed-up world” (I’m pretty sure Johnny didn’t say “svelt”).

Which leads us to reality TV (yes, yes, Kevin, I know it’s not “reality”). Last week saw the debut of the latest Survivor, this time in the jungles of Guatemala. Not much new to report here except for an unusual amount of sickness in the menfolk that results in lots of vomit and writh shots. Host Jeff Probst seems to have lost a little of his spark and, despite the spiders and ants and crocodiles, the location doesn’t seem to bring anything new to the game. Of course I’ll keep watching regardless.

This week it was the two versions of The Apprentice, the old one with Donald Trump and the new one with Martha Stewart.

Stewart’s is a kinder, gentler version of Trump’s (contestants don’t get “fired,” they “don’t fit in”). It’s only been two days since I watched it, though, and save for the endless walls covered with paint chips, I can’t remember a single thing that went on, which means it can’t be rating very high on the “water cooler conversation” scale.

Trump’s show is simply more of what we’ve become used to: lots of Trump, lots of brand enhancement deals (last night was the fitness chain Bally), lots of racially-charged internecine bickering. In the end it was the strident Hispanic woman who got fired, mostly, it seems, because she self-identified as “someone who can’t work with women.” Ho hum.

Last night was the 98th season opener of er, the show that refuses to die even though they have used up absolutely every single plot device that can lead to “chaos in the emergency room.” All of the glam stars of the past are gone — Noah Wyle was the last to leave, at the end of last season — so we’re left with Goran Visnjic (who used to be great, but how long can you string out the “my kids are dead and I have no soul left” angst?) and a cast of second-rate actors fumbling their sutures and central line kits. The show might surprise me — I’ve given up hope before, only to be surprised — but it’s not looking like it.

To get some idea of how old er is, recall that it premiered in 1994, the same year that CBS debuted Chicago Hope. And who remembers Chicago Hope? It was cancelled years ago in a blaze of Christine Lahti.

The best thing about Chicago Hope was Mandy Patinkin, and his new show, Criminal Minds, debuted opposite er last night and I managed a pretty good job of watching the two shows at the same time (something made easier by the fact that I knew exactly what was going to happen on er, so I only needed to tune in every once in a while).

Criminal Minds is in the CSI mold — tormented and eccentric but brilliant crime-fighter finds bad guys using science and mind voodoo. Patinkin is well-suited in the lead, and the rest of the cast is better than a show like this deserves (Matthew Gray Gubler from The Life Aquatic was particularly good), but the show doesn’t cover any new ground, and after an hour the Churchill and Nietzsche quotes got tired and I forgot why I started to watch. If the show succeeds it will be because Patinkin makes it succeed, but don’t hold your breath.

Otherwise I’ve been watching a whole lot of MSNBC, mostly because it’s the only 24 hour news station we get (well, there’s CTV Newsnet, but it’s so bad as to be unwatchable, and CNN Headline News which always seems to be airing either sports or “showbiz” news). Watching MSNBC these days means watching wall to wall hurricane coverage presented by Chris Matthews, Keith Olbermann, Tucker Carlson and Rita Cosby. Collectively they are slightly less annoying than their dopplegangers on CNN. But only slightly. Carlson and Cosby are the worst of the bunch, mostly because they seem to have no journalistic training nor skills. Matthews is good on politics, horrible on live coverage, and Olbermann, who makes everything sound like a game of something, is completely compelling.

Next week is The Amazing Race, Without a Trace and The West Wing. Still no end to the Compass lockout, so I’m blissfully unaware of anything happening here on Prince Edward Island. Our friends at the CBC had a rally yesterday afternoon; didn’t hear about it until after it was over because, well, the way you hear about things on Prince Edward Island is on the CBC.

I often marvel at the fact that car manufacturers don’t make more of an effort to rent new cars to potential buyers. I suppose they do, in a way: Hertz is owned by Ford, for example, and they certainly showcase the cars of Ford and its divisions (Mazda, Volvo, etc.). But you’d think that if you were a “minor” manufacturer like Smart, VW or Toyota, you’d try to figure out a way of putting your cars in people’s hands.

I’m talking about something more than a test drive. Even “take the car home for the weekend,” which seems quite common, at least if the dealer knows you (or you have another car you can leave behind). It seems to me that putting an interested, motivated potential customer behind the wheel of your car for their business trip or vacation would be an excellent opportunity to addict them to your product.

Manufacturers, it seems, do not agree with me. Witness these two email messages, received in reply to a “I’m traveling for a week in New England and want to rent one of your cars from Montreal” query email. First from Smart:

Thank you for your interest in smart. While we appreciate your interest in smart, unfortunately, we are not familiar on whether any car rental companies have the smart brand as part of their rental fleet in Canada. You may wish to do an online search of rental car companies in the Montréal area for further information. My apologies that we couldn’t provide further assistance at this time.

And then from Toyota:

Toyota Canada Inc. is not involved in the rental of Toyota vehicles and as such, we do not have a list of car rental services that have the Prius in their fleet. However, we suggest that you contact some Toyota dealerships within your area to inquire about the rental of the Prius from the dealership. As well, the dealerships may be aware of rental companies that offer the Prius in your area.

So here’s me, a potential customer who went out of his way to find your website and send you an email, a potential customer who will pay you money to evaluate your $20,000+ product. And what do you say? “Not our department.”

Catherine is the first woman I’ve dated¹ who’s not a smoker. During my time in the minor leagues of relationships in the mid- to late-1980s, I went out with a series of women who smoked — some a little, some a pack a day.

As a result, despite an unblemished record of being a non-smoker myself (well, there was that unfortunate cuckolding incident in Cuba, but we won’t count that), in addition to the whole set of “smoking kills,” “smoking is gross,” “smoking causes cancer” associations, I’ve had a latent “smoking is sexy” vibe hanging out in the deep recesses of my mind. Something about beer and cigarettes and sweltering nights and, well, you get the picture.

Today, though, I walked out of the office on the way to lunch and there was an otherwise quite striking woman catching a cigarette outside the office across the street. And I realized that I no longer find smoking sexy in any way at all. It’s a horrible habit with no allure whatsoever. Lauren Bacall be damned.

1. Catherine and I have been “dating” for 14 years next week, which makes me think we need a new word to describe our arrangement.

Nikolaj gets left without overseas wifi because of codesharing:

I’ll be heading stateside early October, hopefully with a visit to O’Reilly’s Web2.0 conference. Ticket booking was a bit hurried yesterday but I opted for SAS due to inflight Wi-Fi and because the price was right. Today I checked the actual itenary and of course, the first leg to the US is operated as codeshare flight in cooperation with United Airlines. No ip - this is outright deceitful to geeks like me.

Edward Hasbrouck has an excellent article on the subject, Airline alliances and code-sharing, where he writes, in part:

Airlines claim code sharing and alliances enable them to offer better services like through ticketing, baggage transfers, and frequent flyer mileage credits between alliance partners. But that’s a lie. None of those services requires alliances or code sharing. The international standards that the airlines themselves established decades ago through IATA permit all IATA member airlines, not just alliance partners, to publish through fares and establish interline ticketing and baggage transfer agreements. Any IATA-appointed travel agency can sell tickets on any IATA airline, including tickets at a single through fare for a multi-airline journey. And even alliance members often give frequent flyer mileage credit for travel on non-alliance airlines, without code sharing.

Code sharing is unnecessary for, indeed irrelevant to, any legitimate purpose or actual service. Code sharing doesn’t enable an airline to fly to any more places. It just enables the airline to mislead travellers into thinking that they fly to places they don’t. I call that fraud.

It says here that VISA Collision Loss Damage Insurance doesn’t cover:

Trucks, pick-up trucks or any vehicle that can be spontaneously reconfigured into a pick-up truck.

The mind boggles.

You would think that it would be in the best interests of telephone companies to make it easy to find telephone numbers on the Internet. It’s a lot cheaper to have a web application give out numbers than it is to hire someone to do it. And the easier it is for people to find phone numbers, the easier it is for them to make phone calls, which is presumably a Good Thing for telephone companies (although admittedly less good than it used to be).

So why does canada411.ca, the “official” way of finding telephone numbers from Canada’s incumbent telephone companies, look so ugly:

Not only is there flashy advertising all over the page (which causes it to load quite slowly, in addition to being annoying), but the user interface is pretty stupid: why not simply have Google-style simplicity with one text field that lets me type in anything from “Peter Rukavina in Charlottetown” to “Pizza Shop near Bloor and Yonge.” Surely the telephone company computers are smart enough to figure that out.

I’ve been on the board of the L.M. Montgomery Land Trust for several years. We hold our monthly meetings at Ravenwood, on the Experiment Farm in uptown Charlottetown.

Every time a monthly meeting comes up, I take the car into work, and then drive up to the meeting. It’s usually a hassle finding parking, and Charlottetown traffic (such as it is) is pretty heavy around the noon hour, so it’s not a pleasant drive.

For some reason it dawned on me this morning that I might be able to ride my bike to the meeting instead of driving. While this might be an obvious approach, and one you think would have occurred to me earlier, it’s important to recall that people in Charlottetown drive everywhere.

So although I’ve managed to largely avoid driving the five blocks from home to office every day, the notion of driving out past Allen Street — almost to the K Mart! — simply never seemed possible.

Except that today, it did.

I made sure to set off early — I left at 11:15 a.m. to leave plenty of time to get there by 12 Noon. I imagined that to go that far might take 30 minutes, maybe 45.

I got there in 8 minutes. Without pedaling very hard.

Although I was somewhat fatigued by the trip — more a reflection of my total lack of fitness than the degree of difficulty — it was generally a pleasant way to get there, and, all things considered, was net positive on time, money and fitness (mine and the planet’s, etc.).

If we set aside the fact that I may simply be an idiot, it seems like I’ve discovered a major barrier to the adoption of alternative (i.e. non-automobile) means of transport: a well-ingrained status quo. Olle rides his bike to work every morning in Copenhagen because that’s what everyone else is doing. I drove my car to meetings for the same reason. How on earth are we ever going to remember to take our wacky new olde buses when they hit the roads this fall, let alone remember that most of our city is within easy walking or biking distance.

Steven reports that Barack Obama has a podcast. I’m convinced that he will some day be President, so you can tune in now for a preview of U.S. history. Here’s a photo a took, by chance, at the Democratic National Convention last summer:

It turns out that the domain name registration for colemanlemieux.com, one of our clients, was handled through DirectNIC, a New Orleans-based company. Doc Searls interviews Sigmund Solares, CEO of DirectNIC, about how they went through Hurricane Katrina with no downtime. It’s a great interview, and well worth listening to if you’re responsible for disaster response planning for a data center.

The wonderful irony is that, right in the middle of the hurricane, I had to made a DNS server change. I had no idea DirectNIC was in New Orleans, and blithely made the change unaware of the technical miracles that were holding the infrastructure I was using to do so together.

Back in the early 1990s CBC Prince Edward Island reporter Pat Martel interviewed me for Compass. It was my first television interview and, remarkably enough, a job I got two years later came as a result of someone seeing that interview. Pat, along with his 5,500 colleagues at CBC, is locked out of his job. But now, through the magic of QuickTime, he’s back.

Somehow I missed the fact that the local branch of the Canadian Media Guild has its own website.