Search Engine Watch

I couldn’t resist….

Now that Toby McGuire was il, he wondered, “What does sic mean?” He knew his life had changed forever and had to figure out why he had misspelled his name on that first Actor’s Guild form. All those years of working to get to the top of his profession and now people couldn’t even find in him on search engines. If only Peter Gzowski could give him advice.

He went to the web to get more information on how to have a life away from the media glare awarded bad spellers with hit movies. He knew he had to find a new direction. He had to become reinvented. He was afraid of the press. The pesky “as if” editor (in charge of fact is stranger than fiction articles) had been fired as a result of missing this big story, but the magazine was still after Toby. The fired “as if” editor’s former wife (known as the “ex-if”) was after him because the alimony payments had dried up.

Toby couldn’t risk the public shaming he would endure when the public realized he didn’t know the words to itzy bitzy spider and couldn’t spell them even if he did. He tried calling his agent, but no one answered the phone. He remembered that it was the administrative professional’s day off and that his agent hadn’t learned how to answer the phone on his own.

Toby McGuire was alone with his problem. No special effects, no magic spells, he had to tackle his first challenge, the old Netscape vs. Internet explorer question, by himself. He had always used Internet explorer because it came in his software bundle, but he chose to use Netscape because he couldn’t risk another virus on top of his already weakened condition. He had to seek guidance from someone important, a figure whose stature proclaimed its own importance, sort of a virtual Mohammed. He searched the web and found something he could believe. He found Andy Richter controls the universe.

Little did he know that Andy Richter was really an early prototype of the energizer bunny that had run amuck. Advertising genius Jay Chiat’s greatest untold secret had become the font of knowledge for virtual travelers seeking guidance on the secrets of the universe.

20 years!