About two years ago, I downloaded a free developer edition of IBM’s DB2 database server. To do this required that I jump through all sorts of registration hoops on the IBM website, but in the end I got what I needed.

The unintended side-effect of all this registering was that I got dropped inside the IBM database, and they are relentless in their sending of both paper and electronic mail regarding my DB2 “subscription.”

All of which culminates in this email received yesterday:

Hi Peter. This is Arthur Yuen from the IBM Software Maintenance group. In mid-August we sent you a letter for the maintenance renewal of a DB2 licence that is due for November 1st. This is a free software and has a $0 renewal.

I have enclosed the quotation below. Could you return my e-mail and approve this renewal? This way we will ensure proper maintenance on your software.

Attached to the email was a three-page PDF file, which ended with invoice for $0.