If perchance you wake up one Monday morning, realize you forgot to go grocery shopping, and fall back on the leftover waffles from Sunday morning to feed your daughter breakfast, here is a piece of advice for you: wild blueberry mustard is not an acceptable substitute for blueberry compote. Your daughter is liable to say something along the lines of “these waffles are horrible!!”

I thought I could get away with it. I was wrong.