"We are not going to reliably hang out, no matter how I feel about you"

Peter Rukavina

Anthony Bourdain on friendship, from a recent profile in The New Yorker:

Bourdain is exceptionally close to his crew members, in part because they are steady companions in a life that is otherwise transient. “I change location every two weeks,” he told me. “I’m not a cook, nor am I a journalist. The kind of care and feeding required of friends, I’m frankly incapable of. I’m not there. I’m not going to remember your birthday. I’m not going to be there for the important moments in your life. We are not going to reliably hang out, no matter how I feel about you. For fifteen years, more or less, I’ve been travelling two hundred days a year. I make very good friends a week at a time.”

I haven’t reliably hung out with anyone in more than 25 years.

Comments

Submitted by Ton Zijlstra on

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The people I count as my closest friends are likely the people I currently see the least. It's the certainty that they will be there when it matters that counts, not frequency of hanging out.

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Photo of Peter RukavinaI am . I am a writer, letterpress printer, and a curious person.

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