One of the things I’ve learned from my trans friends is that we who aren’t trans place an inordinate amount of effort on trying to anchor things to the past rather than the present—“Erica, who used to be called Eric, until…” and so on. We can tie ourselves up in knots.
So, to avoid that, I will simply introduce Olivia, who identifies as female, and uses she/her pronouns. And is my daughter. Who I love.
The process of becoming our true selves is something we all struggle with; there are a lot of feelings bundled up inside me that surface as a result of Olivia’s transition, many of them uncomfortable, and things I must reckon with. But overlaid is a tremendous sense of pride that she has found her way to this, and, in so doing, is a model for me as I struggle to find my own ways forward.