One of the things I’ve learned from my trans friends is that we who aren’t trans place an inordinate amount of effort on trying to anchor things to the past rather than the present—“Erica, who used to be called Eric, until…” and so on. We can tie ourselves up in knots.

So, to avoid that, I will simply introduce Olivia, who identifies as female, and uses she/her pronouns. And is my daughter. Who I love.

The process of becoming our true selves is something we all struggle with; there are a lot of feelings bundled up inside me that surface as a result of Olivia’s transition, many of them uncomfortable, and things I must reckon with. But overlaid is a tremendous sense of pride that she has found her way to this, and, in so doing, is a model for me as I struggle to find my own ways forward.


Heather Mullen (she/her)'s picture
Heather Mullen ... on May 9, 2021 - 13:59 Permalink

Lovely post and I have such pride in both of you as you support each other during this transition.

You are both always learning together and have the courage to share your growth online to help others to learn and grow as well.

Nice to meet you Olivia,

John Boylan's picture
John Boylan on May 9, 2021 - 16:20 Permalink

Here's to Olivia being exactly who she wants to be.

Kevin's picture
Kevin on May 9, 2021 - 19:19 Permalink

That first paragraph is beautifully concise.

Hello, Olivia.

Thelma's picture
Thelma on May 9, 2021 - 20:05 Permalink

I'm so glad you and Olivia have each other, and that we all have both of you.

Nicole 's picture
Nicole on May 9, 2021 - 20:12 Permalink

I just came across this poem and thought of you, Peter and Olivia.

I am a curious
playful spirit
exploring the polarity
of the light and darkness
in my reality.

My heart is the place
in time and space
where soul and matter unite.

I AM the NOW
where ALL becomes ONE.

( Gordana Biernat)

Pedro Custodio's picture
Pedro Custodio on May 10, 2021 - 06:59 Permalink

Life is an ever changing challenge, it is only fit we all adapt and recreate ourselves through it as well in order to grow to become the amazing creatures we were born to become.

I'm both happy and proud to be a witness to your journeys and very happy to hear Olivia found her place of comfort for her journey and growth ahead.

Hello Olivia, lovely to meet you!

Susan J White's picture
Susan J White on May 10, 2021 - 11:47 Permalink

Thank you, Peter and Olivia, for being so open and sharing your journey through life which teaches me so much.

vbj's picture
vbj on May 10, 2021 - 18:50 Permalink

Life always surprises us if we let it. Glad you are both in my life.

Bree Bang-Jensen's picture
Bree Bang-Jensen on May 13, 2021 - 22:34 Permalink

What great foresight you had (in hindsight) to give Olivia a name stem that fits so beautifully through so much growth.

Oliver FS's picture
Oliver FS on May 14, 2021 - 02:39 Permalink

Mazel tov!