Getting Screwed [or Not]

I note, with some irony, that pretty well the only spam I receive these days (what with SpamAssassin killing things on the server-side and Apple’s Mail deleting a good amount of the rest) is Viagra-related. Even virtually, the stuff can make things go where they’re not otherwise intended by nature.

There’s no doubting that “dick unhardness” (the official Pfizer term is “erectile dysfunction”) is a valid problem, and something that Viagra can help with. It’s unfortunate that the spamsters have taken this on as their latest cause.

Pfizer, makers of Viagra, have a helpful page on their website called “Tips for Talking to Your Doctor.” They include some helpful opening lines that you can use to break the ice. For example:

“Doctor, I’m having some trouble getting erections and I’m concerned.”


“I need to talk with you about my sex life.”

Fair enough: as I can’t even imagine talking to my doctor about Viagra (or anything nether, for that matter), I can see how these might be helpful.

But what about:

“Have you seen the VIAGRA commercial with Winston Cup Driver Mark Martin?”


“Have you seen the VIAGRA commercial with Major League Baseball Star Rafael Palmeiro?”

Must we really turn our lives into branded parodies of themselves to overcome our discomfort with talking about sex [or not]?


John Morris's picture
John Morris on September 16, 2003 - 20:06 Permalink

sex sells. Thats all that matters to these people.

guido's picture
guido on September 16, 2003 - 21:35 Permalink

hey doc da ol salsice no wanna go straight anymore. wadda i goona do? you gotta soma special for me ‘casua the girlafriend no happy…da wife isa happy, but nota da bella mia.

steve rukavina's picture
steve rukavina on September 16, 2003 - 21:53 Permalink

A couple of years ago and old friend of mine from journalism school now working for Canadian Press did a story where she tracked down the actor who appeared in an erectile dysfucntion television ad. He played a guy who is sitting in the doctor’s office but is too shy to discuss EDS with the doc. The actor worked part-time as a waiter and he would often see gaggles of women in the restaurant pointing at him from a distance and laughing.

Ken's picture
Ken on September 17, 2003 - 00:29 Permalink

Professional athletes use drugs to improve performance?!
Then it not only ok, it’s cool!

Besides the ‘bonheur’, also enjoy these pleasant side effects: Facial Flushing, Upset Stomach, Diarrhea, Sensitivity To Light, Urinary Track Infection, Headache, Mild Visual Changes in <font color=”blue”>Blue<font color=”black”> & <font color=”green&gt;Green&lt;font color=” black”=”“> Colors

L.Nicholson's picture
L.Nicholson on September 17, 2003 - 00:35 Permalink

Damn,I thought it was a ‘shroom flash back!!lol

Rob Paterson's picture
Rob Paterson on September 17, 2003 - 12:28 Permalink

My wife Robin gets almost as many penile spams as I do. Maybe it’s because she has a man’s name? Or maybe the word is out that I need more help

Ken's picture
Ken on September 17, 2003 - 14:24 Permalink

Penile spams for spasms?

Women take Viagra to stiffen their clitoris, apparently that makes things climax faster.

Kevin's picture
Kevin on September 18, 2003 - 14:08 Permalink

How about: “Hey Doc, does Viagra make even good sex lives better?” Then one only has to mumble something like “.. well… ‘z not whut it used’ta be.. uh, spoze…” and a good doctor will pick up on the awkwardness and tell you to get a life! :)

It does raise an important health issue all the same. Why is it that we have so much taboo about certain health issues — even when shyness could result in harm done or not prevented — when we’re only talking to one person? It’s not like we have to broadcast it on the net and collect credit card numbers.. though some do I guess.

On the other hand I wouldn’t have thought my medical records could ever become public and they did in enough of a way to concern me. If you are in business you must have life insurance. Purchasing a bunch of term insurance is the best (and sometimes the only) way of doing it. Failure to acquire insurance is almost certain to keep you out of business. But, to get more than a few hundred thousand dollars of coverage you have to disclose your medical records. I discovered after I was “rated” (worse than a smoker) that my medical records contained some outrageous opinions from a doctor who was clearly going through issues when I consulted him. Those comments cost me $110.00 per month, in six years will begin to cost me about $300.00 per month, and in another ten years about a thousand per month.

The moment I get the insurance company to specify in writing why they rated me, I’ll have room to collect if I desire — at least I think I can perhaps convince them to remove the rating and stop the bleeding.

And so, if you speak to your doctor and you want to sometime be in business and require insurance (or for any other good reason) you should ask from time to time to read your file. I didn’t know this is the right of anyone nineteen and over. Your doctor will refuse for certain and you’ll have to then reissue the request through their association or something, but you’ll get your file.

Sadly, you can’t ask for changes. It’s not really fair that way I think.

Alan's picture
Alan on September 18, 2003 - 14:59 Permalink

You can ask for changes if there are errors under a Federal law. It is called the Personal Information Protection and Electronic Documents Act — if it is refused, file a complaint. As this is a matter that you or the insurance company paid for directly, it is a commercial matter in the private sector in relation to a health record. Apply for a review of the file with the Federal Privacy Commissioner. Thankfully, it is not a provincial matter so you have a hope of a remedy.

Kevin's picture
Kevin on September 18, 2003 - 18:15 Permalink

Thanks for the info Al, I’ll read the act and then I should know what to do. Now to find the PDF version…