The FAQ for Saturday’s PEI Writers’ Guild Erotic Writing Workshop is almost enough to make me sign up.

Q: Aren’t you worried about attracting, you know, weirdos?

A: Well, Writers Guild members tend to be a well-behaved bunch, so no, not really. But if anyone is disruptive, a 500-pound cow will fall on their head, they will be asked to leave, and UPEI campus security will see them out. Plus we’ll take away their chocolate.

I said almost. As someone who blushes beet red at merest mention of the possibility of canoodling, I’m fairly confident that I don’t have the fortitude.