Pet Stains

Did you know that when advertisements on television say “pet stains” they actually mean “the stains from where your pets peed on the carpet”? I didn’t. I think I have a genetic mutation that makes me incapable of grasping common euphemisms. I thought “pet stains” were like when your dog knocks over a bottle of red wine or your cat tracks mud in from the garden.


oliver's picture
oliver on February 12, 2009 - 05:40 Permalink

Could be Asperger’s. A tendency to interpret literally is one of the indicators.

jypsy's picture
jypsy on February 12, 2009 - 13:22 Permalink

And I wasn’t the one that said that……. this time….

Steven Garrity's picture
Steven Garrity on February 12, 2009 - 14:17 Permalink

You know what the blue water is on commercials, right?

Alan's picture
Alan on February 12, 2009 - 20:16 Permalink

I think you are too hard on yourself. There is a certain dignity in not getting euphemisms that you have no need of understanding. And everyone does this I am sure.

Once, when attending university in Halifax, I was walking around campus on a foggy day, hearing the same distant harbour sounds that I had heard on a zillion similar days — and then realized that my long-held private scientific certainty that sound must travel farther in the fog was simply utterly stupid.

Rob's picture
Rob on February 13, 2009 - 06:35 Permalink

Pet stains are not exclusively pee, it’s just not polite to rattle off all the fluids our lovable pets are capable of depositing.

I’m always shocked when laundry detergent commercials show me happy little toddlers rolling around in the grass and the soothing voice causally boasts effectiveness against blood stains. I think “child-based stains” is sufficient.

Jon's picture
Jon on February 14, 2009 - 17:18 Permalink

If you’ve ever had an adolescent dog, as yet unneutered, repeatedly bonking your favorite teddy bear on the living room carpet, you would soon realize that “pet stain” does cover a gamut.
Thank God for veterinarian’s magic. Rest in peace, Bonking Bear.