Island Tel Network Down for 35 Minutes

At 11:25 a.m. this morning the Island Tel network went off the air. No high speed Internet. No access from the Internet to webservers on the network. And so on. Took the usual frustrating trip through customer service [sic] hell. Finally hung up in frustration after the tech guy asked me to disable my firewall. Sigh. Network came back up after 35 minutes.

3,281 Words

I remember when I was in high school and university, the prospect of writing 1,000 words on something, to say nothing of 2,000 or 3,000 words, was always very daunting.

I have strong memories of combing through a 950 word essay looking for ways to stretch out the length — substitute “the research conducted in the scientific community” for “research” and so on. This can’t have been a good lesson.

And so I was amazed tonight when I sat down after supper to put together my talk for tomorrow that, when I was done 5 hours later, 3,281 words had just flowed right out of me.

I’m not sure how this bodes for my talk tomorrow, but it does put earlier frustrations in a new light.

Technology Under Carpet

My wise friend Ann the Communicator writes, in part:

I think you should have a subsection of your site for endless technology discussions which are Not of General Interest…
While I’m the first to admit that the long drawn out saga of Island Tel vs. ISN vs. Peter has been a little overwhelming (hey, you just have to read about it; I have to live the life!), I consider it part of my Greater Duty to alert the general population to the insanity of the dehumanizing technological world we’re have build around ourselves.

That said, using Ann as a canarie, I will direct my gaze elsewhere for a spell, if only to preserve my own sanity.

Beware, though, that at any minute, some horrible techo-debacle could strike, and I would have no choice but to write about it. In case this happens, I suggest you of the techo-averse class on this ship re-route to this website for a respite from the inanity.

Just don’t come looking for me when Island Tel comes for your cats1.

1. Any suggestion that Island Telecom Inc., or its parent or associated companies have anything against cats is purely a fictional construction used for dramatic effect only. As far as we know, they love cats. And I’m sure if you asked really hard, they would install a phone for a cat. But not High Speed Internet. For that you have to be at least a dog.

Death of a Dream

My friend the Oliver the Science Journalist was talking to North America’s leading ufologist today, and I was dismayed to have Oliver report back to me that this man’s opinion was that aliens from outer space would not care about the font or other presentation details of websites. Really.

Atlantic Provinces Library Association

My talk pEi-Commerce: Handcrafting Simple, Nimble, Cheap, Distributed Internet Applications for the Atlantic Provinces Library Association Conference is scheduled for Friday, June 1 at 3:30 p.m.

I encourage you to register for the conference, and attend the many interesting sessions scheduled, especially the Banquet with guest speaker Roch Carrier, who graced the Confederation Centre with a wonderful appearance mid-winter and who is a compelling speaker.

Off to visit my sisters…

7:00 a.m. — Clock radio goes off to the sound of Karen Mair reading the news on CBC. Wake up. Shower and shave. Realize I have enough time to wake Oliver up, feed him, and take him with me.

7:20 a.m. — Call CGH to ensure that we’re on track. We are.

7:21 a.m. — Oliver awake. Change. Downstairs to kitchen. Boil water, mix cereal, dig mushed carrots out of fridge. Oliver eats. Likes cereal (with apples added), but spits out (cold) carrots. No time to warm carrots. Make do with cereal.

7:35 a.m. — Out the door. Realize it’s cold and going to rain. Back inside to put Oliver in a coat.

7:40 a.m. — Arrive CGH’s house. She’s not there. Meet next door neighbour Jill and we talk about the care of cats. Wait in car with Oliver. Sing songs and play pantomime games with Indigo the black puppet dog.

7:50 a.m. — CGH arrives home from early morning trip. Into house. See great pile of luggage. Talk to dog. CGH makes tea and toast. Crazy frenetic air in the house. Dog knows something is up, but doesn’t realize that quality time should be spent with cats before they part.

8:02 a.m. — CGH, now a net addict, must check email and website before we leave for airport. Shows me piece she wrote last night.

8:15 a.m. — Load Oliver into car. Load luggage into car. Load CGH into car with dog.

8:17 a.m. — Off to Queen Street Meat Market to pick up lobster. CGH insists we take Prince St. We take Prince St. Overshoot and double back via Allen St.

8:25 a.m. — Arrive meat market. CGH goes inside and Oliver and I wait in the car. Notice there’s a sticker in the window saying Shoplifting is a Crime. Wonder if casual meat theft is a big problem. Also notice more TIAPEI membership stickers on the window than ever seen before; wonder if longstanding TIAPEI membership has paid off for the meat market.

8:28 a.m. — CGH emerges from meat market with giant, ancient black suitcase, wrapped in packing tape, filled with lobster. Find that suitcase was CGH’s mothers, previously used to ferry lobsters west, presumably in 1940s. Find that suitcase is to be sacrificed ritually upon arrival in Ottawa.

8:29 a.m. — Set off for Ash Drive to drop dog with Joan and Leith. Instructions from CGH to proceed up Allen St. to Mt. Edward Road. Proceed up Allen St. to Mt. Edward Road. Arrive Ash Drive.

8:35 a.m. — Dog transferred, along with copious instructions on care, feeding, etc. Joan looks nervous; awesome weight on shoulders. Leith looks relaxes. Note that Joan and Leith were out mowing lawn and trimming brush at 8:35 a.m.; realize am seldom up this early and this is what people must do at this hour.

8:42 a.m. — Arrive airport (no instructions on best route; turns out CGH’s knowledge of suburban hinterlands is not vast). Park in departure area. Get cart. CGH runs in to start checkin process. Load cart with bags and giant black lobster suitcase. Get Oliver. Try to push cart while carrying Oliver. Difficulty. Giant lobster suitcasse falls off. Retrieved and rearranged. Thankful for automatic doors at airport. Oliver looks puzzled and wonders if we are flying somwhere.

8:47 a.m. — Find CGH in line. Maneouver cart into placed. Say quick goodbye. While walking back to car hear friendly woman, also in line, ask CGH where she’s going. “I’m off to visit my sisters…” she says. Not complete story, but true nonetheless.

ISN and Underwear

Kevin O’Brien makes some very good points in a recent note. What he points out is the classic problem of the small entrepreneurial business, which is that it’s very hard to hire people who will (a) take your business as seriously as you do and (b) will react as you react, and operate as you operate, with the same intelligence and good judgement.

In a sense, the problem that Kevin faces is similar to the problems Fruit of the Loom and others face when outsourcing manufacturing to maquiladora plants in Mexico: how do you convince a collection of poorly paid generic workers with no connection to you or your products to pay attention to quality and service? To quote from a case brought against Fruit of the Loom by its stockholders:

In its attempt to reduce inventories, Fruit had completely halted production at several of its maquiladora factories and fired workers rather than furlough them. As a result, when Fruit attempted to increase production … Fruit found it was not possible to rehire the trained and skilled workers it had fired. As a result, Fruit was forced to hire unskilled and poorly trained workers who were unable to efficiently and effectively produce goods and thus produced huge amounts of imperfect and irregular goods which resulted in grossly overvalued inventories for Fruit and Fruit not being able to produce the high-quality product needed to meet customer demand and increase revenues, while causing Fruit’s expenses to soar.
What Kevin says about ISN really boils down to this: of the several companies in what we might call the “West Royalty maquiladora zone”, Advantage produces underwear with the fewest defects.

The answer to the problem is obviously not Kevin answering the phone himself 24/7, for this would lead to the end of Kevin, which is not the desired result here. Perhaps the only solution is to take customer service back in-house, and to conceptually place the people who answer the telephone at the top of the corporate hierarchy, rather than at the bottom. Set them up with profit sharing. Give them business cards. Make sure they have plenty of Knudsen Juices in the fridge. Bring them meals. Give them free high-speed Internet access at home.

This will cost more. You will have to raise prices to pay for this. But, in the end, you will have a better product than anyone else, and the market will recognize this.

The good thing about all of this? You know the underwear needs work. Your competition insists, even in the face of underwear full of holes, with the the waistband falling off, that their underwear is just fine.

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