First, if you’re the person who left me a voicemail yesterday at 19:35, please phone me back: I can’t for the life of me make sense of the Danish-only voicemail system on my mobile.

To Guy, who I met yesterday again in almost the same place we met a year ago: you will never get your house paid off. You are obviously extremely well-suited to being a teacher, and if you’re ever going to do it, you should do it now: the world will be a better place if you do (and I’ll send my son to be your student).

And a question: are we all going to have to eat fruit in the renaissance, or is there a chance we’ll take chocolate with us?