Ripped Up Like a Deutch

I had to take Oliver to the after-hours clinic this morning — he had puffy eyes. On the way to have his prescription filled, he insisted that we stop and buy him an egg. “What kind of egg?” I asked. “From the Itchy Bunny,” he said.

We will burn in hell for this lack of religious education.

Of course I’m the one who answered “Sodom and Gomorrah” for the question “Who went into the Lion’s Den?” on the religious knowledge portion of the entrance exam to Hillfield Strathallan College.

I think I was actually accepted — probably under some “broadening our arms to accept the heathens” special program — but I decided to stay away. Something about the uniforms and the rigour and the well-outfitted science labs turned me off.