I’m the first to admit that I am not a paragon of cleanliness. And you don’t want to know how long it has been since I cleaned the bathroom here at the office.
So today, with a good dose of long-running SQL queries to run to break up the time, I set about to right this horrible wrong.
First stop was the True Value Hardware in the basement of the Confederation Court Mall. I find it always makes cleaning go much easier when you make a run to the “cleaning products” section before starting (I am bolstered in this thinking by Catherine’s revelation that you can’t simply use dish soap to clean everything).
For a hardware in such an obscure location, I gotta say that True Value has pretty well anything someone on a cleaning frenzy could ever want: I returned with a sponge mop, vinyl floor cleaner, new hand towels and dish towels, poster hangers for our YANKEE Magazine 70th Anniversary Poster, a rug for the bathroom floor and some green-apple scented LYSOL bathroom cleaner.
I started with a first pass over the floor with the wet sponge mop and the vinyl floor cleaner. Then a second pass. Then a soak. Then a third pass, this time on my hands and knees with a J-cloth. Left the floor to dry and took a break.
Next it was the fixtures. Generous dollops of green-apple guck got sprayed everywhere germs my linger; soak; rinse; repeat.
The toilet got special triple-action cleaning, as did the sink. I even cleaned the door handles and the light switch (who knows where germs might lurk!).
I left everything to dry, then returned to polish up the stainless steel garbage can, clean out the bathtub, give the radiator a rub-down and neaten up the curtains. Finally I hung up the YANKEE poster, gave the corners a vacuum, and I was done.
I realize that for most normal people this is no feat at all. Heck, most of you probably clean your bathroom every day. Or at least every week. I indeed I will endeavour to become like you as the days and weeks progress.
Now that the gentle scent of artificial green apple fills the office, I welcome any of you with an urge to pee in the vicinity of the office to consider dropping in for a test-run.
Of course you’ll be expected to mop up after yourself. The cleaner is in the closet behind the door.