Government Announces Plans for Crack Cocaine Sales

Faced with mounting deficits, and light traffic at the betting windows of Island race tracks, Provincial Treasurer Mitch Murphy today announced plans to begin selling crack cocaine in Summerside and Charlottetown.

“The additional revenue that crack sales provides will allow us to significantly improve the infrastructure at the Charlottetown Driving Park and Summerside Raceway,” Murphy said on the steps of the Legislative Assembly.

While critics say that the sale of crack cocaine, which they claim is a powerfully reinforcing psychostimulant, will lead to social and health problems, Murphy dismisses these complaints. “Crack is in widespread use in major cities across North America,” Murphy said, “and it would be irresponsible of us not to tap into the potential new revenue source.”

Using funds from the sales of crack, the grandstand of the Charlottetown Driving Park will be rebuilt, a new restaurant and lounge will be constructed, and an underground network of 200 specially constructed “crack dens” will be housed in the area under the grandstand. “Crack users have been crying out for a central, clean, well-lighted place to practise their craft; we’re simply answering that call,” explained Murphy.

Construction of the crack facilty is expected to start after Old Home Week in August, with the crack fully available in early 2005.