APM to acquire Village of Hunter River

In a move that has shocked some village residents and that echos its recent acquisition of Callbeck’s Home Hardware, the APM Group today announced that it had completed negotiations to acquire the Village of Hunter River, Prince Edward Island.

APM president Tim Banks said he is excited about the acquisition. “I’ve driven through Hunter River many times, and have always realized that it is underdeveloped; with our retail and construction expertise, we’ll have Hunter River turned around by the end of the year.”

APM plans to introduce better lighting, friendlier customer service and a better selection of exotic fruits and vegetables to the village. It is expected that the present site of the Irving gasoline station will be converted to a manufacturing plant for reproduction antique wheelbarrows.

While tightlipped about details for the project, APM officials did hint that some of the residents of the village may have to be relocated. “Hartsville is barely full, and New Glasgow has some spare room,” said a company source, “we don’t anticipate much resistance.”

Part of a planned expansion by the APM Group in 2002, the acquisition of Hunter River has renewed rumours that the company is planning to purchase the communities of Crapaud, Eldon and Dundas. APM representatives had no comment on these rumours.

Ukrainian Hockey Players

I received a Word file in Ukrainian this morning that started as follows:

It came from a man named Andriy who lives in Kyiv, Ukraine and is writing a book about Ukrainian hockey players, including my cousin Gus Bodnar.

It is alas written in Ukrainian, which I do not read, write or speak. I’ll have to start cultivating some Ukrainian friends. Perhaps my brother Steve who, in Saskatoon, lives in one of the epicentres of Ukrainian-Canadianess.